Newcomers to the sport of fell running can often be bewildered by the amount of jargon that gets used. You may hear other runners talking about things such as “carbo loading” or “triangulation point” and not have a clue what they’re on about. Some jargon can puzzle even the most experienced runners amongst us.
This can all be quite intimidating and so, in the interests of inclusivity, I have compiled this handy guide to some of the more commonly used words and phrases that you are likely to encounter. Just introduce some of these terms into your conversations with other fell runners and you’ll fit right in.
Navigation
A popular route finding technique employed during fell races. It involves blindly following a local runner because they always know exactly where they’re going.
Hydration
The process of getting soaking wet in the rain that falls when you’re out running.
Rehydration
The process of getting soaking wet in the rain that falls when you’ve finished running and have changed into some warm dry clothing.
Triangulation point
When navigating, the moment of realisation that the ground in front of you bears no relationship to what it says on the map.
IT Band Syndrome
Psychological condition whose sufferers imagine that wearing digital technology on a band around their wrists will make them run faster.
Strava segment
That period in your life when it is inconceivable that you could go for a run, a cycle ride or even a walk without sharing your efforts on the internet.
Tendonitis
The realisation that, once you’ve done a race ten times, you don’t need to do it ever again.
Skiddaw
Admiration for a fellow runner’s progress across slippery ground.
Kinder Scout
A thoughtful race marshal who offers to lend you their woggle.
Thunacar Knott
Secret shoelace tying technique that prevents laces from coming undone while out running. Widely used but only reluctantly explained.
Bessy Boot
One of a pair of favoured running shoes that a runner is keeping to one side ready for an important race.
Striding Edge
When running up a steep hill, the tipping point at which it becomes quicker to walk.
Dark Peak
The effect on one’s coiffure of taking a headlong fall into a peat bog.
Eryri
That uneasy feeling experienced before a fell race in North Wales that everyone else is a much better runner than you.
Achille Ratti
An Italian pest control company that is renowned for its fell running team.
Todmorden Harriers
In German Tod means Death and morden means murder. Don’t fuck with these people.
Vegan Runners
People who run faster than you because they don’t waste energy trying to digest bits of dead animal.
Plantar Fascitis
Extreme right-wing vegan running sect. Best avoided.
Sellafield
Secret government laboratory hidden somewhere in Cumbria that is rumoured to have created a breed of superfast fell running mutants.
Borrowdale
Euphemism for free beer.
Mudclaws
Legal disclaimer employed by the organisers of fell races such as the Wadsworth Trog that protects them from prosecution by fell runners who fall victim to one of the route’s many bogs.
Taped seams
I have asked around but no-one has a clue what this means.
Threlkeld
Covered in threcks.
Crummock Water
Muddy residue left inside your running shoes after an especially wet run.
Sweeper
An elite fell runner whose duty is to chase after the slow runners in a fell race and make them feel inadequate.
Cut-off time
The disconcerting period during a fell race when you can’t see or hear another human being.
Harrison Stickle
Race organiser who insists on everyone carrying full kit despite the glorious weather.
Sca Fell
A nasty injury caused by falling onto a particularly sharp stone when out fell running.
Scafell Pike
A particularly sharp stone that can cause a nasty injury should you fall onto it when out fell running.
Millstone grit
A stone that lodges itself awkwardly between the treads on the sole of your running shoe.
Doctor’s Gate
The curious half skipping, half kicking gait used by a runner who is trying to dislodge a millstone grit from the sole of their running shoe without having to stop and do it properly.
Bleaklow
Psychological condition brought on by running across featureless boggy moorland in adverse weather.
Rhinogs
Bits of dried mud that cling to the backs of your legs after a muddy run.
Trossachs
The illusion that you are wearing a pair of flesh-coloured socks when you take off your real socks and shoes after a particularly muddy run.
Fell running hero
A fell runner who can complete the Bob Graham Round and then down more than two pints of beer.
Fell running legend
A fell runner who is now in their seventies but who can still beat you in your local race.
Fell running great
Yes it is, isn’t it?
Map
A primitive paper kite that is flown by hand rather than using strings. They were once popular in some of the windier parts of the country but you don’t see them so often nowadays. These maps were traditionally decorated with crude symbols that were intended to represent landscape features such as trees, rivers, walls and even whole mountains.
Rural mythology has it that certain wise seers – known as map-readers – were able to interpret the symbols on these maps while flying them. This would somehow enable them to find their way across the countryside.
Please note that some of our more traditional fell races may actually require you to carry one of these maps with you during a race. Fortunately, there is no obligation for you to fly your map when you’re taking part. (See also “compass bearing”.)
Warm up
Inaccurate forecast from the Mountain Weather Information Service.
Weather forecast
Popular north country euphemism for heavy rain.
Interval training
When you can’t be arsed training regularly.
Tapering
When you can’t be arsed carrying on with your interval training.
Fartlek
Nothing like as much fun as it sounds.
Hill reps
Ron Hill’s sales force.
Dunmail Raise
The smallest possible lump on the ground that it is still possible to trip over.
Dollywaggon
Camper van used as support vehicle on a Bob Graham Round.
Brocken spectre
Countryside ranger with specific responsibility for monitoring badgers.
Mountain fuel
Food for sheep.
Merino wool
The preferred diet of clothes moths.
Compass bearing
The quaint practice of carrying an antiquated navigational device whilst running. Apparently this was once of some practical benefit (see also “map”) although it is now done purely for ceremonial purposes. Please note that this curious custom is still obligatory in some of our more traditional fell races.
Map reading
Passing the time by looking for humorous place names on an Ordnance Survey map.
“I’ve found a Hole Bottom.”
“Look, there’s a Willie Wife Moor.”
etc
Carbo loading
The two pints of lager and a packet of crisps you consume the night before an important race.
Running shorts
A couple of swift whisky chasers that make a popular accompaniment to carbo loading.
Junk miles
The distance needed to run off the calories provided by the previous night’s takeaway.
Foot strike
A state of exhaustion so intense that your feet refuse to take you a step further.
Peat
Muddy impediment sometimes found at fell races.
This is by no means an exhaustive list of fell running terms. Feel free to share any others that come to mind.
Running Wild 
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